zillybooradley: sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night sobbing because no one will take me to funkytown
instagrampa: how to excite a large crowd of white people: play don’t stop believin’ by journey
nasty-otter: Nickel buddy! I’ll never spend you! Funny muffler Jerky Pal Boo boo keys Snake eyes
lardele: christina aguilera is such a good drag queen i hate her
accio-nerds: Remember when this became this follow him on twitter, he’s hilarious
vondell-swain: i wish all curse words really were replaced with nautical sound bites
i do not own a dildo
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?
jammin' out to gotta be you instead of doing my...
i have a dIRECTION y’know, like erection only for one direction ha ha or as sigmund freud would say… “penis envy” O0o0o0o0O0O0O0o0o0o relating my research paper to 1D yeaah!!!1!111!!!!1!
okay i promise i’m not trying to be dramatic but like i think i need to lose like 20 fucking pounds in order to wear half the clothes i wish i could hahahahaha yeahyeahyeah!!! whatever i like food yolo
that point in your life when you said “yesh” and “shmexy” o
fatsuya-suou: Why the hell are bras so expensive Do retailers not realize that if left unchecked my nipples will punch a hole in the fabric of spacetime and kill us all the moment the temperature drops below 70 degrees fahrenheit hahahahaha omg
richwhitelesbian: cindry: when i was little i used to legitimately cry over a goofy movie because max was so mean to his dad like the part where he throws the possum hat out and its raining wow i cant even talk about this right now man ME TOO!!!!! OMFG